this entry will officially close this blog of mine. it kept so much memories, and now that i have to let it all go in real life, i feel that i need to begin a new chapter in life. but i wont stop here. since writing is the only way for me to express my feelings, im just going to 'migrate' to some other places where i'll start writing about my new life. down there, i dont want to talk about my past. i just want to talk about the new me. but before moving on, i have a few last word to say.

to that special one....

im sorry for making things complicated for us. its been 3 days only, and its already enough to make me wake up from what you said, "fairytales world". maybe all this while i rely too much on you. but do you know why? thats only because i've never been so close to anyone before. i look at you as my pillar. something which i relies on too much whenever i feel like falling down. i dont know that its wrong.

im not quetioning you about your loyalty. never, never intended to. u took it the wrong way. because u never see from the girl's point of view. think of it. if i dont care or if i dont love you, i wont be bother at all. but its because i do care so much for u, that is when the feeling of insecure came to me. pls dont blame me. try to understand me. i went it thru twice before this. i really cant afford to go thru third time. because let me tell you, the feeling just really sucks. its like someone just take a parang and stab you rite at your heart. and for you to stand up and walk straight again, trust me, its gonna be very hard. very.

im trying so hard to understand your tight and busy schedule. i tried. but i admit that sumtimes i dont know why i find it very hard to. its not that i dont want to, but honestly, i just dont know why. maybe its true like what u said before, im 85% possesive. but i have 85 reasons why i am. pls try to undestand my dear.

the noon of the break-up, oh wait, not break-up but "time-off", you know what i was doing? i was attending a course at spring spore. and we went to paya lebar spore post for a tour. and as a souvenier, they gave us our very own personalised stamps. we were asked to bring our fav photo so that they can tranform it into a valid stamp. and i happily choose our alumnite photo together. i was feeling so excited about the outcome of the stamps. you know, like a small child waiting for a present from santa clause. thats how excited i feel. and at the end of the tour, they gave us our stamps. i hold on tight to it feeling so satisfied of the outcome. and i cant wait to show it to you. i was even planning to give half of the stamps to you for you to keep. but that same night, u ended everything. u said its better if we took time off the relationship. i took out the stamps from my bag and i silently cried myself to sleep. the next morning, i took the stamps and kept it in my drawer. when i open my drawer, i saw a card and a stalk of rose. from you to me on valentine's day this year. i read the card and this was what written on it:

"cinderella, dis card is nothin compared to the love i wish to profess, someday, when the time is ripe. it states friendship, but you mean more than just that to me. honestly sweetie, you are perfect for me... too perfect maybe...

you're so sweet, adorable, gentle & cute. the flower may be plastic but it means our love wont rot and will stay intact. i love you, hanis! happy valentine's day!"

(p/s: i swear i quote every single word from the card.)

i then take the rose from my drawer, knowing that even 50 years from now, it will never rot. i look at the card and the rose and the stamps. and i put all that back in the drawer and close it back.

i was looking forward to celebrating my birthday with you. eagerly took my day off from work specially for that day. hoping to have a good nice time with you. but now.........im not even looking forward for my own birthday. this is the worse birthday that i'll have to go thru.

before i end this entry, below i have something for you...... something that comes from my heart..:

i cant take this anymore
its tearing me up inside
cause you wouldnt tell me why
so you remained a constant thought throughout my days.

i hate that you are doing this
i saw you do it before
i wont let this happen to us
you cant push me away.

you have already torn my heart in two
the damage is done
does this even hurt you
or will this go right through?

the loneliness i fear
is starting to draw near
cant be sure how i deal
or how this loneliness will feel.

all my hopes and dreams
have been washed away
into a rapid flowing red stream
created by the bleeding of my broken heart.

you said yourself we could last forever
and now you cant even see us together
i do not blame you nor am i mad
for it was i who gave this heart with no shield.

we talked about our future
only because that's where we were headed
we talked about our past
and realised why others didnt last.

i couldn't tell you what the future will hold
you claim to be afraid of the unknown
but i wasn't given the chance to ease your fears
which is why i begun to shed this tears.

i only want you to be happy
if you cant be happy with me then i will have to respect that
i was afraid of my heart being broken and now it has come true
i just never thought breaking of my heart would come from you.

that's all i have to say. goodbye everyone. i love you all. thanks for your time reading my blog. my new link will be at multiply. for those ficnatics of mine, pls change your link to: heartsnvines.multiply.com... my new life will begins there.

take care all and may god bless you.

oh hello. sorry for not updating for quite sometime. im just too busy. anyway, was off today but have to attend the PA Excel Day at Ministry of Sound. Goodness! Out of all place to conduct a company's presentation day.

But anyway, good thing lah. Give me the feel and experience of entering a club. haha. the other time was gotham penthouse, and now MOS. i wonder what's next? heez.

anyway, yar obviously its a pub and the place was like super dark lah. i mean gotham was dark also, so no surprise. but just now, we all feel like so stupid like dat. i mean frm 2pm onwards, so many PA staff already start lining up at the MOS entrance. gosh! i mean like, who the hell wld line up to enter MOS in bright day light?? haha. that part was a bit funny lah. but overall, the programme was not bad at all. got to see our directors and senior management staff become fashion show models! and having them in aprons and serve us the tea-break. haha.so cool u knw! never seen and done before! hehe.

okay. so aft that went to vivo. go long john and then go slack and hang ard at the garden area. then suddenly we heard this announcement. it wasn't so clear at first, but we heard something like "the rock bla...bla.." and so we just ignored it. then ard 6.30pm we was about to head home, when we pass by the stage. it wrote "Welcome Dywane The Rock Johnson". And the emcee was saying sumtink like "....the hollywood star, dywane the rock johnson, will be right here in vivo city!...." and so being the typical kepo singaporean, we waited. luck was with us becoz the crowd wasnt there yet and we got the most perfect position that everyone wld love to have! u knw where? right in front of the stage and just behind the media & press! haha.

i was hoping that it was some taufik batisah concert or sumtink, you knw. becoz the spot is like so perfect! and ni lah kalau dikatakan mulut masin....few mins time, i heard the emcee saying "..you will meet a few celebrity like bla, bla,bla,bla,bla....and also taufik batisah & hady mirza!" gosh. almost scream when i heard that name! but still, we didnt saw taufik... maybe he's somewhere else in vivo, but nvm.....at least i knw he's somewhere in that same building! haha. maybe not the time for me to meet taufik in person yet. haiz. so sad. btw, we waited for 1 hour before the rock turn up.

okay. i will try to upload some photos & a short video that we manage to grab when dywane the rock johnson came ok. it was really cool! becoz it was really a good view, despite so many reporters trying to block our view. sigh.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One

> Good-natured optimist.

>Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome).

> Indulges self. Likes luxuries and adventures.

> Social and outgoing.

> Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient.

> Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious.

> Doesn't like rules. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes.

> Doesn't like being doubted.

> Beautiful inside and out.

im not going thru a good period now.

its happening again. oh god. i hate this so much.

trauma. shocked. fears.

to that ass, i hate you so much. you are just, like daddy said, setan bertopengkan manusia. how can you be so heartless? we never did any wrongs to you. we dont even bother bout you. but why must you destroyed our happiness?

let me tell you this. we're not going to give-up. we're gonna fight you back. you just wait and see. dont you think we dont knw bout it, we do. god will be on our side. insya-allah.

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
Allah! There is no God but He,
the Living, the Self-subsisting, the Eternal.
No slumber can seize Him, nor sleep.
All things in heaven and earth are His.
Who could intercede in His presence without His permission?
He knows what appears in front of and behind His creatures.
Nor can they encompass any knowledge of Him except what he wills.
His throne extends over the heavens and the earth,
and He feels no fatigue in guarding and preserving them,
for He is the Highest and Most Exalted.
Allah, the Most High, speaks the truth.

finally!! yipee! i managed to grab hold of the "Love Is Cinta" vcd! yay,yay! haha. and i watched it right after i got back from work. and by the time i start watching, it was almost 12 midnite. half-way watching it, bf called. so i paused the movie and we talked till about 12.30am. and then, without even thinking that i need to woke up early the next morning, i continued to watch the movie till 2 plus in the morning.

oh god. this movie is really one of a kind! its so heart-wrenching. jiwang habis nyer! kalau tadah airmata, agaknye berbaldi-baldi boleh penuh. haha. if you love "My Heart", then no doubt you'll love this movie as well.

hmm. i fell asleep almost 3am last nyte. and when i heard my alarm went off this morning, i just couldn't open my eyes. i have a tea session with the south west cdd director today at 9.30am at gek poh ville cc, and for a splendid sec, i tot of just sleeping and not going for the session. haha. but of cuz lah, im still responsible okay. drag myself out of bed and reached there just in tyme. the session ended at 12pm. suppose to report work at 12.30pm since im in the aftnoon shift, but i claimed off. so aft the session, i just head home.

im so into doing wedding crafts myself these days. i dont know why. maybe im missing my P.A.S.S.I.O.N already.

*sigh*

i took leave from work today. actually wanted to claim my off, but then i dont know that i cant go out of singapore if i claim off, unless i take leave. erm. i dont know if you guys understand what im talking about, but nah, its okay. just some tight and complicated procedure. but anyways, my intention of taking leave today is to go raya shopping spree at johore with mum! yipee! bushu came along and we go off after fetching faizah from sch.

i really did shop! we went kotaraya plaza and i got what im looking for. so that makes me really happy. this similar nice kebaya that i saw c.t wore before and it looks so elegant. and then i ask my mum that i want that for this year raya. went searching for it and finally came to this boutique "Fresh Roses Boutique". i saw the kebaya at the display glass and was smiling all way. went in and saw the price tag. RM250 for 1 suit. i took 3 sec to think and after that grab 1 to try. and wawawee...... i came out from the shop with my RM250 gone. that makes me go broke for a while. and ya, just for a while. the second part is about to come....

go komtar next to buy food to bring home. before that mum asked if i want to change m'sia money anot. i said i didnt bring enuf cash and my dearest mummy lend me S$100 to change. dat gives me another RM226 to spent!! i love you mum. haha. but of cuz need to pay her back. after ordered much food for us to survive, we went to city square shopping mall. next thing on my list is to find a nice stiletto. went to the first shoe shop, "mixIT" and saw this nice black stiletto. i asked bushu if she find that nice and she said yes. i tried it on and walk ard. show my mum and got approval from her. look at the price tag and saw RM89.90. the next thing i know, i was at the cashier paying for it. haha. (bf gonna kill me if he read this!!)

so for this month, i think im done with my raya shopping. will wait for next month and continue with the rest of the shopping. but i think next time round, will just go geylang. just need to find another 2 or 3 more pairs of raya baju and a handbag.

till the next tyme then..... *grin*

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haneyz
constituency support officer
20 this year
shopaholic

bold ; italic ; underline .




Handphone.
Chocolates.


Good job prospects.
Make more money.
To Bangkok for shopping spree.


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